Wednesday, April 10, 2013

How to be a Mean Mom....

In 8 Simple Steps....
Step 1 - Find out about a district-wide essay contest.

Step 2 - Inform your children that they will be required to enter said contest even though NONE of their friends have to.

Step 3 - Require them to create an outline (the horror!) before they begin writing.

Step 4 - Require 2 drafts even if their English teacher once told them that their first draft was so good they could use it as a final.

Optional - Repeat "All writing is re-writing" ad nauseum.

Step 5 - Withhold ice cream until three paragraphs have been written.

Step 6 - Require an introduction and conclusion even if their English teacher doesn't.

Step 7 - Make them do all of the above steps in only 4 days and on top of their other regular school work because the contest ends Friday.

Step 8 - Pray that there are no other Moms so mean in your district (the children are sure of this) so your kids win the available college scholarships.

Ok, so maybe I'm not exactly Tiger Mom, but David is quite sure there are no other mothers as neurotic about writing in all of Salem-Keizer.

The products of all this meanness are coming together nicely.  Stay tuned to find out why my kids think "College is Awesome".

~ Christina

ETA - One college scholarship later - Proof that my 8-step plan works!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

There is a random scholarship out there for $500 that only requires one paragraph... on which fruit or vegetable you would want to be. I won it with "pumpkin"! The trick is to be unusual, I've decided.